[Ken Kifer's Bike Pages]
HUMOR: A Simple Question
A desperate cyclist asks an important question in his newgroup or email list. He learns a lot more than he intended, especially about the usenet and human nature.

Bike Pages Home Page

The Cyclist Lifestyle

Bike Commuting and Transportation

Bicycle Camping and Touring

Cycling Health and Fitness

Bicycling Advocacy

Bicycle Traffic Safety

Basic Skills for Cyclists

Cycling Humor and Tales

Bicycling Surveys and Statistics

Links to Other Cycling Sites

Comments on This Page

A Simple Question for a Cycling Newgroup to Answer

On Thursday at 8:00 AM, John Doe writes:
I wonder if someone can help me. The skewer on my bike is bent, and I need to know if it's OK to use it, and if it's not, I would like to know if some mail order company could FedEx me the skewer within 48 hours.

On Thursday at 9:21 AM, Joe Blow replies:
Hold on a minute. No one could possibly answer your question because you haven't given us enough information. Why do you need it within 48 hours? Why can't you get it from your local bike shop? What will you be using the bike for? What kind of hub do you have? How wide is it and what make? How long have you had this bike? How did you know you had a problem?

On Thursday at 9:26 AM, John Doe answers:
Excuse me for not explaining myself better. I was just frantic. It's like this. I live in Little Town, which has no bike shop. A good friend, who is an experienced bike tourer, is making a one-week touring trip to see his grandparents in Big City on their anniversary, a distance of 350 miles, and he asked me if I wanted to go with him. He has to leave on Saturday morning in order to make it to the party on time. His brother will drive us back, as my friend has to be at work on the following Monday morning. To make the trip, I bought a Ecstatic Touring bike and Bodacious touring bags plus some camping gear, as we will be able to camp in the Big Mosquito Forest on three different occasions. Last night, very late, I was swapping the Turbo T tires that were on the bike with Touring C's because I thought the Turbos might be dry-rotted. I discovered at that time that the rear skewer was bent. The hub is a Super-Flange 100, 7-speed, and the rear axle seems to be 130 mm wide.

On Thursday at 9:45, Alex Smart replies:
I really think the Turbo T's would be better for such a trip than the Touring C's. I doubt that they would be dry-rotted. You ought to ride the bike for at least a week on the Turbo T's to be sure.

On Thursday at 9:57 AM, Joe Blow replies:
The Turbo T's are awful narrow and will give you lots of flats, especially off-road. I think some Bug Smasher 42 mm tires would be ideal, if they will fit in your frame. If you have fenders, you will have to lose them.

On Thursday at 10:01 AM, Alex Smart replies:
Well, he said he was riding from Little Town to Big City. It's all good paved roads on that route; there's no need to ride in the dirt.

On Thursday at 10:34 AM, Joe Blow replies:
It seems to me that it is the wrong time of year to be riding from Little Town to Big City. You ought to get the brother to drive you there and then ride back. Then you would have the prevailing winds behind you.

On Thursday at 11:15 AM, Alex Smart replies:
That would cause more driving which would lead to more waste and pollution. No, instead they should ride out and tour the Dry National Forest and loop back home.

On Thursday at 11:35 AM, Joe Blow replies:
Well, that would be a better idea because the Mosquito National Forest is terrible for poison ivy this time of year, while the Dry National Forest won't have any. It's a great place for off-road riding too. Besides, those Bodacious touring bags aren't very good in rainy weather, which they are likely to get in the MNF. However, a good idea too may be to get some new touring bags. Jungfrau has some great new models. He'll have a much better trip with them.

On Thursday at 11:43 AM, Alex Smart replies:
No, new touring bags is not the proper solution. He really needs to get a trailer. They have a great sale on Xjape trailers this week.

On Thursday at 11:58 AM, Joe Blow replies:
Xjape trailers? No way. They won't carry more than 60 pounds safely, which means that they'd have to get two trailers. I suggest a single Boondoggle trailer.

On Thursday at 12:07 PM, Alex Smart replies:
A Boondoggle trailer? And what happens if he makes a sharp turn at 50 mph? He's sure to land on his head!

On Thursday at 12:11 PM, Joe Blow replies:
Well, he can just wear a helmet, so he won't have to worry.

On Thursday at 12:18 PM, Alex Smart replies:
Why do you have to turn every thread into a helmet thread? There is no reason for him to have to wear a helmet just to pull a trailer!

On Thursday at 12:35 PM, Joe Blow replies:
You forgot that he's going to be passing through a national forest, whichever way he goes. National laws say that he has to wear a helmet in the national parks and forests.

On Thursday at 12: 57 PM, Alex Smart replies:
Now, where did you get that idea? There is no law of that kind!

On Thursday at 1:22 PM, Joe Blow replies:
Then why did I see a sign in the campground at My Big National Park reminding the kids to wear their helmets?

On Thursday at 1:33 PM, Alex Smart replies:
Good grief, one sign does not mean that it's a national law. That sign was probably put there by some overly zealous individual.

On Thursday at 2:35 PM, Joe Blow replies:
Well, I still think a helmet would be a good idea.

On Thursday at 3:50 PM, John Doe writes:
Fellows, I'm hoping to get an answer. It's getting close to the closing time of the stores for the day. Where can I get a skewer?

On Thursday at 4:45 PM, Joe Blow writes:
Tell me again, what did you need this skewer for?

On Thursday at 4:51 PM, John Doe replies:
I'm going with a friend on a week-long, 350 mile bicycle camping trip. We are leaving first thing on Saturday morning. My skewer is bent. Can you tell me where to get one?

On Thursday at 6:45 PM, Alex Smart replies:
I really don't think that it's practical to travel 350 miles in one week on a bicycle camping trip. My suggestion would be to leave the bags behind and stay in motels. You said that you had never been on a touring trip before, I believe. I would also suggest getting a brand-new racing bike. I saw a real honey for just $2,500 last week. It has to be special ordered as it's made up especially for you. That will solve the problem of your skewer.

On Thursday at 8:27 PM, Joe Blow replied:
And miss all the fun of camping? No, what he really needs to do is to trade in his bike on a new mountain bike. Then he can explore all the great trails in the Dry National Forest.

On Thursday at 11:35 PM, John Doe writes:
I'm going to bed for the night. I hoped someone could answer my question. I talked to my friend, and he said he would wait until noon on Saturday to leave if I could find someone to FedEx me the skewer tomorrow. For God's sake, can't SOMEONE PLEASE tell me where I can order a skewer.

On Friday at 8:00 AM, John Doe writes:
Could someone please help me locate a skewer?

On Friday at 9:35 AM, Alex Smart replies:
Could you describe this skewer once again?

On Friday at 9:38 AM, John Doe replies:
Yes, it comes off of a rear Super-Flange 100, 7-speed, hub, and the rear axle seems to be 130 mm wide.

On Friday at 11:35 AM, Alex Smart replies:
Seven-speed hubs are pretty much out of date. I think you would be much better off with a new 140 mm ten-speed hub. If you will take your bike to Big City, they can spread your rear axle so a ten-speed hub will fit.

On Friday at 12:20 PM, Joe Blow replies:
I don't really think the new ten-speeds are a good idea. The lowest possible gear right now is a 26, and I think you would want at least a 32 for off road touring.

On Friday at 1:45 PM, Alex Smart replies:
Well, whatever he does, he should replace that Super-Flange 100 with something better, as it is a piece of junk.

On Friday at 2:20 PM, Joe Blow replies:
I'll have to agree with you there. If he had a better hub, he wouldn't have to worry about breaking his skewer.

On Friday at 3:00 PM, John Doe writes:
Could somebody please tell me where I can order a skewer to replace one that's bent?

On Saturday at 8:00 AM, John Doe writes:
Well, my friend has left on his trip without me because I couldn't find a replacement skewer for the one that was bent. I just wish that someone could have helped me find a place that could FedEx me one.

On Saturday at 9:03 AM, Joe Blow replies:
Well, I do a lot of hard mountain biking, and I never worry about a bent skewer. I've never had one to break, not even after I broke the axle. Anyway, any bike shop on the web can FedEx one within 24 hours.

On Saturday at 9:05 AM, Alex Smart replies:
I have to agree with you. We get customers all the time that want us to replace bent skewers, but we never will under warranty. If they pay to have it done, then we will do it, otherwise not. I save any bent skewers I get and use them myself. The size doesn't matter very much, as most any rear skewer can be used with any rear axle.

Disclaimer: After a great deal of consultation with various and sundry usenet experts, I have determined that the above information may or may not be correct. Do not use or fail to use the above information without the advice of the proper usenet authority. Please contact your favorite newsgroup or email list and consult with the resident experts.


Comments | SECTIONS: | The New World | Writing | Thoreau | Home | Bike Pages |
DIRECTORIES: | Lifestyle | Commuting | Touring | Health | Advocacy | Traffic | Skills | Humor |Survey | Links |
HUMOR: | Air | Devices | Addit | Flat tire | Camping | Great | Flame | Witty | Newsgroup | Camper | Safety | Classic | Tarzan Land | Robbery |
TALES: | Planet | Fairy | Joe Bike | Detective | Murder | Green | Paradigm | Interstate | Bike Trip |
http://www.kenkifer.com/bikepages/humor/nsgroup.htm | Copyright © 2000 Ken Kifer | Sunday, May 07, 2000